What should you do with the family home after a divorce?
The legal costs are a major consideration in any divorce. (Supplied)
In short:
For many Australians, the decision to divorce has become even more complicated because of the rising cost of housing.
Women are more likely to struggle to re-enter the housing market after a divorce, because time off work for child caring can reduce their ability to service a loan.
What's next?
There are calls for the government to consider allowing single parents to be able to access the First Home Buyers Scheme, or for rental history to be considered when applying for a mortgage.
Rising house prices and big mortgages mean many Australian couples are approaching divorce differently.
Some are choosing to live separate lives under the one roof.
Others have adopted nesting arrangements, where the couple keep the family home and takes turns living in a rental.
For women, re-entering the housing market after a divorce can be particularly tricky, with many on lower incomes due to child caring responsibilities unable to afford a mortgage on their own.
Loading...A number of women have shared their stories about what separation meant for them in terms of housing.
Jasmine Lovering feels financially ruined after her divorce.
"At the age of 40, it's a trying time to remain optimistic,"she said.
Jasmine Lovering is struggling financially following her separation. (Supplied)
When Ms Lovering and her ex first separated five years ago, she moved out of the family home.
"The conclusion was it would be easier for our two sons to adjust to the separation without all of us moving out."
The family home was sold one year later, leaving Ms Lovering with $77,000 — about 35 per cent of the asset value.
Following the divorce, Ms Lovering experienced multiple health issues and a period of unemployment.
Now back working, she is not confident she will be able to re-enter the housing market.
"I'll be considered too old by lenders for a home loan anyway, given these are typically on 30-year terms,"she said.
Many women are unable to afford a mortgage on their own after divorce, due to lower incomes as a result of child caring responsibilities. (ABC News: Luke Bowden)
Ms Lovering feels it is easy to be judged as a second-class citizen as a renter in Australia.
"There's an element of feeling ashamed, a failure at this stage in life," she said.
She would like to see women like her helped back into the housing market with rent-to-own initiatives and consideration of rental history as part of assessing home loan suitability.
'The likelihood is I'm going to be homeless'
For Charlotte Kaye, separating from her husband has put her in a precarious position when it comes to housing.
The couple delayed selling the family home when they first split in 2019 to provide a stable base for their children.
Now the children are adults, Ms Kaye said she and her ex-husband are "trapped."
"With property prices so high and our ages against us, neither of us can afford to buy the other out,"she said.
Charlotte Kaye is renting alongside her twin sons in the northern suburbs of Melbourne. (Supplied: Charlotte Kaye)
After taking time off from her career as a nurse to have children, Ms Kaye needed to retrain or find another career.
The 55-year-old is now studying, but her Centrelink allowance does not cover her rent, and her children are chipping in their Youth Allowance to keep a roof over their heads.
"I can honestly say, in a few year's time, I just feel like the likelihood is I'm going to be homeless," Ms Kaye said.
Once the family house is sold, she will use the money to top up her meagre superannuation balance.
"Where are the long-term rentals we can afford? Those set at 30 per cent of our income?" she asked.
"Women like me fall through every crack, ineligible for the housing register, excluded from private rental schemes and ignored by policy makers.
"I have a lot of my friends who cannot leave their marriages at the moment, they're stuck together in a house because of their financial situation."
"What Australia currently lacks is a shared ownership housing model like the UK's, where people can buy a modest share of a home, rent the remainder affordably, and gain long-term housing security without being forced into crisis."
Rising house prices and large mortgages are causing many Australians to change the way they approach divorce. (ABC News: Stephen Cavenagh)
First home buyer grants for single parents
Emma would love to buy a home after her divorce, but she has been financially exhausted by the court costs involved in securing parenting arrangements for her child and ongoing litigation for parenting order compliance.
"In the last five years, I've spent $200,000 on legal [costs]," Emma said.
She has received financial help from her parents, who have had to access their superannuation.
"It's extremely upsetting and quite stressful,"she said.
Government stamp duty relief and First Home Buyers Schemes for single parents are being touted as ways to help people back into the housing market after divorce. (Supplied: Canva)
Once her parenting orders were sorted out, Emma could not fund the legal fight for a financial settlement.
"I took their $50,000 offer and just walked away when that was pennies compared to what I was actually entitled to," she said.
Emma said child support legislation needed to be strengthened, so both parties are held accountable for their financial obligations as parents.
She thinks government stamp duty relief and First Home Buyers Schemes should be extended to single parents.
"If you haven't owned a home for a period of time, you should be able to access the grants again,"Emma said.
Uncertain rental market makes housing post-divorce difficult
Stacey* wanted to take on the mortgage of the family home after she and her husband separated.
The repayments would have been cheaper than the rent she's now paying.
But her ex-husband did not agree.
The house is now on the market, and she expects to get about $600,000 in the settlement.
"That's better than most women in my situation,"she said
Stacey had to pull $10,000 from her superannuation to engage a lawyer for her divorce settlement. (ABC News: Maren Preuss)
Stacey is on a Centrelink allowance and cares for her disabled son, but could not get the help of a legal aid lawyer in her divorce settlement because she was still a part-owner of a house.
Instead, she had to access $10,000 from her superannuation under hardship provisions to engage a lawyer.
"Which you will only get $7,200 approximately because the ATO taxes it, so, again, we are behind the eight ball," Stacey said.
She said the uncertainty around renting, specifically not knowing if the owner would sell or increase the rent, has made housing post-divorce difficult.
What are lawyers seeing around housing and divorce?
For many Australians, the decision to divorce has become even more complicated due to the cost of housing.
While keeping the family home might be the preference, for many, taking on the mortgage plus going further into debt to pay out an ex-partner has become financially out of reach.
Nicola Watts, executive member of the Law Council of Australia's Family Law Section, said it can sometimes lead to couples staying together despite differences, as they "can't afford" to support two households or living separately under one roof.
Nicola Watts says it is important to remember the family home is "just a house" and parents will be able to "create another home". (Supplied)
She said couples who continue to live together but want to divorce must provide the court with "independent evidence that they have been living separate lives".
Other couples adopt nesting arrangements.
"So instead of having two four-bedroom houses, parents rent or buy a one-bedroom apartment nearby and take it in turns as to who is in the house and who is in the apartment, with the children always in the house," Ms Watts said.
She recommended getting some legal advice early and being realistic about the financial implications of trying to keep the family home.
"It is important to remember that your family property is just a house, you will, in time, be able to create another home for yourself and those you love,"Ms Watts said.
What about the kids?
The impact of divorce on a family's housing situation can be destabilising for kids.
In an ideal world, it is better if one parent can keep the family home at least for the first year or two, according to child psychologist Kimberley O'Brien.
"I've seen kids that are really struggling with not only the loss of the intact family but also the loss of the family home,"Dr O'Brien said.
Kimberley O'Brien says some children struggle with the loss of the family home after divorce. (Supplied)
But for many families, one parent keeping the family home is not financially possible.
Other families might be in a situation where one parent moves into a smaller rental.
"Young people often feel very concerned about the other parent, like 'is dad warm enough?' " Dr O'Brien said,
She said it is important for parents to provide children with reassurance about housing after a separation.
"That dad is warm, that your mum is very comfortable in this home, happier than ever, there's less conflict, we're all good," she said.
Dr O'Brien also recommended that separated parents live in the same neighbourhood if possible and try to make the transitions between the two homes as stress-free as possible.
She said while nesting arrangements can work in the short term, there can be issues around personal privacy.
*Name has been changed.